I saw a post recently about a meme that was pretty popular on Tumblr for a time. The meme format involves warning a little German boy not to go in some weirdly specific location (in the original, a “weed cave”), followed by poorly accented German describing the location he wanders into anyways with a silly German compound word (in the prior example, “bluntensmoken”). This post in particular posited that there is no consistent depiction of the little German boy, and that he embodies the spirit of lollipops and lederhosen but can take any form to wear those.
Anyways, I thought that that was basically a great description of an animist apparition. So here we are!
Lederhosened Licker of Lollipops (Animist Apparition)
An animist apparition born out of a cultural expectation, a joke playing up lighthearted stereotypes present in the zeitgeist, the lederhosened licker of lollipops is an apparition born not from a given mortal soul or natural location, but of the collection unconscious. In practice, such an apparition craves adventure it is not prepared for, wandering strange lands and invoking comedic linguistics.
Apparition Skills Candy Lore, Linguistics Lore
Apparition Spells
Cantrip: musical accompaniment
1st: noxious vapors
2nd: laughing fit
3rd: wanderer’s guide
4th: zephyr slip
5th: confusing cry
6th: cursed metamorphosis
7th: contingency
8th: quandary
9th: bilocation
Vessel Spell compound incantation [one-action]
Uncommon, Animist, Focus, Spellshape
Duration sustained up to 1 minute
You channel the linguistic mischief of the lederhosened licker of lollipops to combine your spell incantions together. When you Cast this Spell, choose one of your animist cantrips or apparition cantrips that takes two actions to cast and requires a saving throw. When you Cast this Spell or Sustain this Spell, if your next action is to cast a non-cantrip spell that requires a saving throw, one creature that fails the saving throw also suffers the effects for receiving a failure on the saving throw of the chosen cantrip. You can only apply this effect once during the duration of this spell.
Heightened (+1) You can apply the effects for receiving a failure on the saving throw of the chosen cantrip one additional time during the duration of this spell.
Avatar Whimsical Wanderer Speed 70 feet, climb 50 feet; Melee [one-action] licked lollipop (acid, reach 15 feet) 6d10+6 acid; Ranged astonished exclamation (auditory, linguistic, mental, range 120 feet) 6d8+6 mental